But who isn’t? If everyone said exactly what they wanted to say, exactly how they wanted to say it at every moment – how boring would the world be? Where would we be without our miscommunications, misunderstandings, and rambling side stories that do nothing to drive home a point? These are the things that make life interesting. Even when you think your life is the least interesting, it can be spiced up pretty quickly with a good digression.

Today the crew all comes together for a very special purpose. Spencer finally wants to share his girlfriend, Bella, with the group. But does the group want to share Spencer with Bella? And what happens when you stop digressing and just decide to say exactly what you’re thinking? Well…just ask Preston…

We can’t thank you enough for watching The Digressions’ first season. We’ve had so much fun sharing with you and are pleased to assure you that this is only the beginning of our time with Preston, Michelle, Theo, Spencer and Kenley.  Stay tuned for upcoming news about the future of The Digressions. In the meantime, this doesn’t excuse the fact that you are not – at this moment – liking our shit on Facebook, tweeting our shit to the world, and subscribing to and liking our shit on YouTube. Get on that, will ya?

And now, Episode 15 – The Showdown

People find the answers in many different ways. And Theo’s answers seem to be exclusively pessimistic. But that’s what he has Kenley around for. To be the polar opposite. To balance out the equation. And sometimes…just sometimes…opposites attract…

Folks – let’s get serious here. If you like The Digressions it’s meaningless until you have announced it by liking us on Facebook. We wanna be “in a relationship” with you so that the world can see. What’s the matter? You don’t like us enough? Are we nothing to you? That’s not what you said last night! You could at least subscribe to our YouTube channel. Or maybe just one little tweet?

You’re going to love this episode. It is beautiful. And oddly satisfying.

We give you Episode 14 – Death and Makeouts

Let me spin you a tale…

Unlike Theo, I have never been in a real fight before. I say “real” fight because in the third grade, I was in something. Something like a fight. An awkward skirmish on the school bus one afternoon. It couldn’t possibly have been a fight because a) no punches were thrown and b) I was not written up by the bus driver. Everyone knew that if you got in a fight on the school bus, you got written up, and if you were written up, you got kicked off the bus. I was afraid of being written up. I was a good kid. Well, I was a scared kid.

My parents ruled by fear, and I existed in a constant state of terror that I would get in trouble. For all intents and purposes, fear of getting in trouble is the same a being good except your underlying motive is not to be good, it is to not get in trouble. I did plenty of bad things, but the moments I really remember from doing all those bad things is not the bad act itself, it is the panic of “Please sweet Jesus, don’t let me get in trouble for this!” Then the hand-shaking, fist-wringing moments of trying to figure out how to stay out of trouble.

That fear ruled me growing up, and that fear kept me out of fights. When things got tough, all my energy turned to how can I not get into this fight because this will get me in trouble. And that was what I was thinking the day I got into “something” on the bus.

It all started when a slightly younger, slightly huskier kid than me sat by me on the school bus. I think his name was Ronnie, but honestly he lived on my bus route for such a short amount of time that I might be wrong about that. I’ll just call him Ronnie for the purposes of this blog. I point out that Ronnie was husky, not to make fun of him, but to show we had some common ground. I too was a husky kid, or rather I teetered on the husky side.

When I was growing up the definition of a husky kid was simple. If you shopped at Sears and wore Toughskins jeans then there were only two sizes: “regular” and “husky.” I always teetered. The regular jeans were a little tight for my densely boned frame, but if I tried the husky jeans, I looked like a circus clown. Although I never really wore husky jeans, I knew the husky kids were my brethren. If you’re not old enough to have been through the shame of trying on “husky” Toughskins, consider yourself lucky. This was how it was for all jeans. You were either “regular” or some euphemism for a chunky kid. The best day of my life was the day Levis came out with “Loose Fitting Jeans.” I finally became normal. But I digress.

Ronnie sat next to me on the bus and we hit it off. I don’t remember quite what we bonded over (other than both being on the huskier side), but it must have been one of my two favorite things at that age: cartoons or Gobots, the cheap ripoff of Transformers for all of us less monied children who had to shop as Sears. Things were going great until suddenly Ronnie grabbed my backpack strap. That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but then he proceeded to put it in his mouth and suck on it. Laugh and make all the sexual innuendos you like, but we were in second and third grade–who knows what he was thinking.

Regardless, he was sucking on my backpack strap, and I tried to make him stop. He wouldn’t. I tried again. He continued sucking. I tried repeatedly, and he kept sucking. Finally, I yanked the strap away from him. Time stopped. Ronnie got a crazy look in his eyes. Suddenly he sprung out of his seat and attached himself to the top of my head like one of the face suckers in Alien, only he was straight up on the top of my head, not attached to my face. I don’t know how this little husky kid did it, but he went from sitting to clamping his entire body on top of my head. Not only was Ronnie now attached to my head, but he had also started CRYING, so I had this weeping, husky mass attached to the top of my head.

I was totally panicked. This was a fight now. No two ways about it. I just got into a fight, and I was going to get into trouble. I tried to get him off, but he was hysterical. There was nothing I could do. I realized I had to fight back so I reached up and pushed him off of me as hard as I could. Apparently as hard as I could was pretty hard. There was some muscle under my husk, because he flew off my head and smacked into the window with a violent cracking sound. I checked quickly and the window wasn’t broken. I looked forward on to the bus driver and she was eyeing us. “Oh Heavenly Father, please save me! I just got caught in a fight.”

The bus driver slowed down and stopped the bus. Ronnie got up and went crying to the front of the bus. I knew I should follow. The bus driver stared back at me in that giant rear view mirror that can see everyone on the bus. I prepared myself of the worst. Then she opened the bus door. Ronnie got off. It was his stop. He simply stepped off the bus and kept walking. The bus driver closed the door, and continued on to the next stop. Other than a knowing glance, she never acknowledged what had happened between Ronnie and I.

That was my almost-fight. Kinda like the husky jeans, I tried it on, but it didn’t quite fit. I could carry on with my life in a mildly uncomfortable state of fear, never having actually been in a fight. I was not in trouble. The only thing that happened was a husky kid sucked on my backpack strap… I sorta wish I’d punched him.

That’s just another way of saying, “I’m a coward,” right?  We’re long past the time when people had to settle their disputes by bonking each other on the head with rocks (hey, isn’t this why sarcasm and withering comments were created?) and yet getting into a fight still seems to be a rite of passage for most men.  Well, Preston is keenly aware of his shortcomings in this regard and is looking to prove himself.  In this episode, we separate the men from the boys (and Preston and Theo from their dignity).

Enjoy Episode 13 – The Fight!

Trust me, I’ve spent plenty of time searching the iPhone App store for the perfect To-Do List (enough time to complete an entire To-Do List, but that’s beside the point), and based on the array of applications available, I know I’m not the only one who gets her rocks off every time she ticks off: Check me. Yes! Scratch. Me. Out. Yessss! Oh god, that feels so good…

Excuse me. Having a moment.

Oh yeah…right there…

Okay. I’m back. And I admit, maybe I’m a little obsessed. Maybe I’m a bit of an outlier in my intense love of the to-do list. I’ve used them for just about everything at one point or another. Of course I’ve made the standard lists for weekly necessities— like: pick up toilet paper and Tom’s toothpaste at Duane Reade, get Gluten-free Brown Rice Tortillas and Tempeh Fakin’ Bacon at the Astoria Fresh Start Market, buy a $4 bottle of Blue Fin Petite Sirah from Trader Joes. Scratch that. Buy 3 bottles.

Now flouride, cruelty AND health benefit-free!

But (here’s a potentially embarrassing admission), I also make Life Lists. Yep. To-Do Lists for my entire life. These lists look something like this (and by “like this” I mean these are direct quotes from lists I’ve made at some point or another): Read 12 new books in the next six months, get into The Old Globe MFA Graduate Acting Program, explore 20 New York sites this year (these can be parks, museums, libraries etc, preferably, but not necessarily cultural), perform in 3-4 plays in the next twelve months…

Ridiculous? Perhaps. But for the most part, these lists worked. For instance, the first year I moved to New York City, I wrote “See 24 shows” on my handy-dandy Life List, and I got soooo excited about ticking off that little check box that I saw every single play I possibly could. By the end of my first year, I had seen 57 plays. And my goodness was I proud of myself. I checked that box off and gave myself a big ol’ pat on the back. Because in a world of complications and uncertainties, this seemed like a very simple equation:

To-Do Box: CHECKED = Goal: ACHIEVED = Life: SUCCESS!

According to this formula, all you have to do is think about what you want, formulate it into a concise sentence, put it next to a small open box, give yourself a specific time frame to check off that small box and WHA-LA! Whatever you want, it’s yours!

But if you don’t check it off?

If you leave an unfinished, uncompleted, necessary action item unattended– unchecked on that to-do list? And it just sits there? Staring blankly back at you. An empty space taunting you with things you didn’t do, or worse – couldn’t do. What then? What does that say? Because what kind of person doesn’t check off all the boxes on her list? What kind of person can’t manage to check off one measly stupid little sentence on a fucking list???

The face of hysteria.

Not me, surely. I know what I want. I’m a hard working person. Therefore, it follows that not only am I perfectly capable of checking off those boxes, I also should get whatever my little heart desires. At least that’s what my well-meaning parents told me. And my teachers, and Oprah, The Secret, The Artist’s Way, and every self-help book every written, and every single fucking inspirational ever movie made in the history of the entire world. Maybe not directly, maybe not in so many words. But it was implied. Know what you want, work hard, and you’ll get whatever you desire. So if my goal is, hypothetically, “to star on Broadway opposite Laurie Metcalf, Alan Rickman and a shirtless Eddie Redmayne in a beautiful new play written by Tom Stoppard, directed by Emma Rice, in a production that is completely and wildly successful — not in a cheesy commercial way, but in a this-is-what-theater-should-be way, in a this-play-sends-electricity-through-my-head-my-heart-and-my-gut-until-I-am-utterly-transported-with-rapture way, and goes down in history as one of the most influential and memorable performances of the century” then, theoretically, assuming I wrote this goal down (or at least had it clear in my mind), and divided it into short and long term goals, then worked backwards creating individual, achievable steps then, conceivably, I’m up in there on a marquee in Times Square by the end of 2016.

I might have to settle for First Wives Club The Musical.

And if that doesn’t happen? If I don’t get what I want, what does that mean? That I set my goals too high? That I didn’t try hard enough? That I’m lazy, or worthless or somehow undeserving? What if I did everything I knew how to do? Am I a failure? Should I aim lower next time? Aim for something I can feasibly achieve so I can hang on to that sweet little narrative in my mind? The narrative that says– you can do whatever you set your mind to, you can check off every little box on your perfect little list…

What’s the fun in that? Where’s the challenge?

I want to terrify myself. I want to be brave to reach for the impossible, to ask for things that are laughably illogical or unreasonable, things that I may never achieve even if I live a hundred lifetimes. But if I really want that, and I truly mean it, I have to come to terms with the fact that, at the end of my life, there will inevitably be a box or two or twenty unchecked, a dozen goals unachieved, and countless attempts utterly unsuccessful. In short, I have to be brave enough to fail. In a sloppy, messy, miserable way.

So, does anyone have Eddie Redmayne’s email?

freakmyfreckles@cheekbones.com

Achieving your goals can feel good, but setting your goals can feel…painful. Like, how are we supposed to figure out our purpose in this life and break it down into tiny little hoops that we jump through to ultimately gain supreme happiness and fulfillment??? That’s a lot of pressure. Goals are terrifying…

But then what’s the other side like? Aimlessly wandering through the world allowing life to happen to you one episode at a time, half-heartedly hoping you’ll make a meaningful connection with another human being – maybe share a few laughs? Sounds like Season 1 of The Digressions!

This week Kenley does what she does best. Give advice. And Preston does what he does best. Dash hopes and dreams.

We’re having a blast sharing The Digressions with you and hope you feel the same. If you do, take a second to share your favorite episode on Facebook, tweet about it, or subscribe to our YouTube channel! We’re at 98 subscribers. We can make it at least 100 today!

Now enjoy Episode 12 – The List!

Will do. Getting right on that.

Language, I know. But this stuff does actually drive me a little crazy. I saw one list online that was twenty two items long (twenty fucking two!) and contained such gems as “Eat Well”, “Live Minimally”, and “Establish Personal Control”. Oh GOD! All I have to do is establish total personal control and I can finally be happy all the time?! Well, what have I been doing all these years?! Seriously, that’s like saying that the way to succeed is to be successful. THANKS! That’s HELPFUL. And you know what sort of people “don’t hold grudges”, “avoid social comparison”, “never compare themselves to others” and “live minimally”? Vegetables.

Literally.

Much more informed people than I have written about this sort of thing but I’m incredibly wary of the constant pursuit of happiness. Life is insane and random and unfair plenty of the time and people who are not affected by that sort of thing are LIARS. And I don’t like being around liars. I’ve always wanted to start off a first date by saying, “You know, we’re going to die some day. Some day soon in comparison to the length of the universe. Not theoretically, literally. How am I supposed to function?” And when I find a person who responds with, “I KNOW! What IS that shit?” then I will get down on one knee and we will live terrified ever after.

“Let’s get this over with.”

And look, everybody has to live their lives. I recognize that the majority of the world has gone through much more serious, genuine adversity than I have. So, if you’ve been through the ringer and you just need to put on a smile and ignore the dark side of life – there’s no way for this not to sound patronizing – go for it. Seriously. The caveat to everything I’m saying is, at the end of the day, do what you gotta do.

But if we could all be a bit more honest about feelings of sadness, anger, frustration, impotent rage, etc. I think the world would be a better place. So much great art comes from an intimate relationship with pain. And there’s happiness too, in art and in life, of course. But when the endgame is always death it’s hard for me not to find happiness at least a little false. Pleasure, yes. Joy, sure. Happiness? I don’t know. And I love a good comedy but do you think there might be a reason why Shakespeare is much better known for his tragedies? A reason why movies like Citizen Kane, Casablanca, and The Godfather routinely top “Best Films of All Time”-type lists? And even good comedy so often comes from deep, deep pain. Woody Allen, Louis CK, etc.

“How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes!”

A therapist would no doubt have a field day with what I’m saying here, and maybe one day something truly crushing will happen to me and I’ll be forced turn in my gleeful frown and my gallows humor for some meditation and gratitude but for now I will embrace my inner dark side. My inner Theo, if you will.

You won’t? Ok, got it. Sorry.

Something that will make you happy: watching previous episodes of The Digressions. Check them out here!

Here’s one better. What happens when you’ve known that person for a long time and you realize…that’s not even the same person I became friends with all those years ago?

Do we ever only know ourselves in this world? Are we doomed to live alone, merely brushing elbows with strangers from day to day? Should we all just give up, stay inside and watch House Hunters all day?

Well of course not, but all those things probably ran through Theo’s head when Kenley made some interesting confessions to him on this balmy night in New York City. Everyone needs to have their impressions of their friends shaken up once and a while. It keeps things fresh and makes you appreciate them even more.

Check out the episode to see if Theo agrees. Something tells us his conclusion won’t come without a bit of freak out.

Hey – did you know that there are only 5 episodes left of The Digressions in Season 1? If you’re reading this post you’re probably one of our more loyal followers and we want to thank you for coming back week to week! We’d love for you to help us spread The Digressions around. Even just liking or commenting on one of our episodes can help us reach a whole bunch of people who might have never found us otherwise!

Now enjoy Episode 11 – Cheaters:

If you’ve been watching carefully, you’ll notice that, “The iPod Maneuver 2″, or “iPod 2″ as we call it, is the first episode of the season that happens outdoors at night. And while we don’t shoot the episodes in order necessarily, it happened to be our first time shooting this way as well. And it almost didn’t happen.

A lot goes into making a web series – even a modest one like ours. We don’t have much physical action – no special effects, no long scenes or trick shots – but the amount of effort and care that goes into making sure the lighting and sound are uniform and convincing on each episode is significant. So, at a certain point last summer we decided to help ourselves out and enlist some more technical assistance. Eric, who plays Theo and is our resident technical expert, has a solid amount of camera experience but he is but one man (and is often IN the episodes), so we were excited about bring in some new blood. One of our cast members (who shall remain nameless) knew a couple young filmmakers who had recently moved to the city and were hungry for projects. They had cameras, equipment, and, most importantly, experience. We met up with one half of the duo at a greasy Thai restaurant near Union Square to discuss the possibility of working together. Our new friend was clearly very confident, capable, and surprisingly assertive. The only problem (besides the seaweed salad I ordered, which tasted like worms) was that the duo was tired of simply shooting projects and wanted to be more involved in the creative decision making process. An alarm went off in my brain. I’m not against creative input; I collaborate well. But I’m very careful about whom I collaborate with. We are, again, a modest web series but we’ve got a good thing going. The four of us have a strong democratic partnership. We know each other very well at this point and know how to give each other input, advice, and direction. We have a clear vision and a specific and, might I say, airtight style. So, I was hesitant.

After the meeting, the rest of the team was much more optimistic than I. This is essentially constantly true (I have a touch of the cynic in me) but I was still a little surprised. They thought we could involve our new friends in creative decisions without having to make any concessions. They even thought the new duo didn’t entirely mean what they had said – that they would be happy to be involved and wouldn’t feel the need to manhandle the style. We planned a rehearsal as a sort of dry run of the collaborative relationship.

We met up at Aubrey and Eric’s UWS apartment and began working through the script. It quickly became clear that the duo was unaware that we had already a) written a bunch of episodes b) decided on a season order and c) shot several of the episodes. Distressing. We discussed possible changes to one joke (that was already fine) for a half hour. Upsetting. One member of the duo started all of his/her comments with the phrase “what if…?”. No bueno. They tried to give Aubrey notes about her delivery on one of her lines. Aubrey’s a pro and considered their notes respectfully but I could see her bristling. We mercifully segued out of discussing the script and began to go over how we would approach the episode in a technical sense. This conversation went markedly better. They had a lot of great ideas about shots and were excited about finding a good outdoor location for a night shoot. They were enthusiastic and confident. This was encouraging.

We parted ways under the agreement that the duo would scout and confirm a location and we’d shoot the episode in five days. We were cautiously optimistic. We still hadn’t worked out exactly how to handle the creative input but the added technical boost seemed worth it. And things so often just work themselves out.

A couple days passed and we didn’t hear anything. I sent an email to the two of them, checking up on the location scouting. I received a short email back saying that they hadn’t looked yet but were thinking of shooting on the sidewalk outside a bodega at 125th and Broadway. Another alarm went off in my head (I have many at the ready). This location was problematic for many reasons, the main two being that a) it’s a loud area, which would be a nightmare for editing and b) it’s a highly trafficked area. Shooting outside is not especially illegal (at least not without an expensive permit) and the more busy the area, the higher the chance of finding ourselves in a conversation with the police (rarely pleasant). We were worried but put our faith in our new collaborators. What else could we do?

By the day before the shoot we still hadn’t heard much. Aubrey and I were out in Astoria drinking margaritas when we got an urgent email from one half of the duo saying that the other half had sprained his/her ankle in a pick-up basketball game and was in horrible pain. They weren’t going to be able to make the shoot and they were so, sooooo, sorry. I sent an e-mail back inquiring if the ankle injury was somehow so serious that it had affected both of them or would the ungimped half of the duo still be able to make it? But I already had the sinking feeling that was this their way of bailing without really bailing. I never heard back from either of them.

Now what the hell were we going to do? We had 24 hours, no location, and no real prospect of one. I sent out an alarmist e-mail to the team recommending that we either switch to an indoor shoot or cancel entirely. Eric, as always, had a significantly less doomsday outlook. He e-mailed back that he was already out and about on the UWS, scouting locations and had found an elementary school near his and Aubrey’s apartment that was relatively well lit and located on a lightly traversed block. He e-mailed us pictures that looked promising. We were back on.

We gathered at Casa Pargacerino the following evening ready to rock. We grabbed the equipment, some snacks and bottled water and headed out. The part of the school that Eric had scouted the previous evening was now gated so that option was out, but we were able to find a small ledge by a stairwell a couple doors down that would fit Aubrey and Jordan nicely. I was on sound duty and space was limited, so I stashed our gear near a planter on the sidewalk, trying to keep a low profile from passersby and police. Cars would zip by with unsettling regularity and there was a surprising amount of foot traffic for a weeknight. And it was sweltering. Temperatures had flirted with 100 during the day and weren’t a whole lot lower by 9 pm. We knew that episodes surrounding “iPod 2″ in the season would have a fall/spring look to them and didn’t want to have an episode full of tank tops and shorts sticking out like a sore thumb, so we forced Aubrey and Jordan to suffer in light jackets and pants.

And the lighting wasn’t right. The overhead fixtures at the school created a sickly glow and some unsightly shadows on Aubrey and Jordan’s faces. We had a portable LED light that we could use but couldn’t find a good place to set it. So, I went on a duct tape run. I had had a bit of a taste of the “hurry up and wait” style of film/tv shoots (I was an extra on The Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift. Oh yes.) but it still surprises me from time to time how different the whole thing is from theater. For theater you essentially need bodies and you can go. For film so much time and thought goes into the technical preparation. If you need to take two hours to set up a shot, you take two hours to set up the shot. If you need duct tape for a light for a shoot that was supposed to have started already, you go get the duct tape.

We taped the light to a part of the school’s fencing and fired it up but things still looked a little off. And cars and pedestrians kept zipping by, feet away. We tried a run-thru of the scene and things just weren’t right. Jordan and Aubrey wouldn’t admit it but it was clear that the nearby traffic was making them nervous. People would walk by and stare at the two actors sitting on the steps of an elementary school late on a weeknight and Jordan and Aubrey couldn’t help but notice.

I raised the idea that these were less than ideal shooting conditions but Eric wanted to press on. We had already sunk thought and time into this location and Eric didn’t want to bail on it without giving it a solid go. This is a common occurrence in my life. My pessimistic instinct to distance myself or give up on things outweighed by wiser parties. Surround yourself with good people.

Then a janitor came out of the school and began gating and locking an area identical to ours a couple doors down. Clearly our little stairwell would be next. We were out of options. I suggested throwing in the towel. It was late and hot and we could always shoot another night if we needed to; we were on no one’s schedule but our own. It was then that Eric suggested shooting on the roof of their apartment. This was a wild card option that had been mentioned before but quickly dismissed as dangerous. We didn’t know if we had access to the roof, if there was anywhere to set up a shot, or if our clomping around would cause the residents of the building to call the police. All I’m saying is I wouldn’t do well in prison.

Eric was confident that we could make it work, so we put our trust in him (usually a good call). We took the stairs up to the top floor and cautiously opened the door to the roof. Mercifully, it wasn’t locked or alarmed. The second we got out onto the roof, our worries began to dissipate. There was room to sit and set up shots. We could arrange it so that we were only walking on the part of the roof directly over Aubrey and Eric’s apartment. The sides of the roof extended high enough to block out a little of the New York night sounds and there also happened to be a pretty gorgeous view of the skyline. We couldn’t find a reasonable place to set the LED light so we lugged up a standing lamp, duct-taped the LED tight to the top of it and led an extension cord back down to their apartment. DIY filmmaking at its best.

It was almost midnight at this point and the temperature had dropped to a tolerable 80. Aubrey and Jordan were no longer uncomfortable in their outerwear and the roof made it seem as if there was no one around for miles. We had carved out a tiny little space for ourselves, above the hubbub, below the stars. It’s incredibly difficult to find solitude in New York. I often don’t notice it until I’ve stumbled upon a little pocket of it. We had created a little solitude.

I leaned against the doorway leading back down into the building and set up the sound equipment. Eric began framing shots and Jordan and Aubrey ran lines a couple times. We soon found that the LED light made it impossible for Jordan and Aubrey to see anything but each other. Like or dislike this episode, love it or hate it, I don’t care, but I think it has an intimacy that’s sometimes hard to find. There’s a quality, an ease, in their performance that the technical side of filmmaking can sometimes encroach on.

We took our standard shots (wide, two shot, close-ups from both angles) as well as a shot from each angle that changed focus from time to time. Eric would adjust with each take and I would make sure the audio was clear and complete. Jordan and Aubrey tried out several different choices for various moments and jokes. And we just worked. For three of four hours on a hot summer night in New York we did what we wanted to do, the way we wanted to do it, together. It can get crazy here in New York city (slash life) and it can be easy to question one’s place, one’s…correctness. But for a little while we felt like we were in the exact right place at the exact right time.

Somehow it all works out.

To see this episode and others, check out our Episodes page.

Now that we got that out of the way – what’s your fantasy? Not really talking rose petals and that little teddy with the slits in the bra part that you can untie. More like – what are the things in your life you engage in to just trick yourself (even if for only a moment) that things are better than they are? This is the really good stuff. Like going on vacation to Puerto Rico and pretending you’re on an exclusive island in Fiji. Or buying a Groupon for a creepy massage parlor in Chinatown and pretending you’re in a ritzy spa in SoHo.

We all tell little white lies to ourselves in order to deal with reality. Even when we don’t even realize it. Whether it’s Bella’s brand of white lie or Michelle’s.

This week poor Spencer can’t seem to shake Bella’s little private sex concert, so he turns to a female friend for help. But is Michelle really in the position to give sound relationship advice? Honestly, she’s been complaining about her significant other all season. (And being totally unfair to Kevin, if you ask us. He’s a GREAT guy.) Perhaps if nothing else, they’ll be calmed by the tranquil rooftops of New York City at night. In a city of a million problems, isn’t it nice to know you can still escape and make yours seem like the most important of all of them?

And in an internet of a million webseries, isn’t ours the most important? Well then tell us so! Like this week’s episode on our Youtube Channel, share it with your friends on Facebook, and tweet it to Barack Obama in hopes that he’ll watch in on a smoke break. Bozie would want it that way.

Enjoy Episode 10 of The Digressions, The iPod Maneuver 2: